Alien of a dark world
by Yamachinostalgia
Summary: Kyman vampire fic! Cartman takes Kyle into his world. Kyle's POV. "No one had actually seen whatever dangers caused this curfew, and no bodies were ever found. But the screams at night echo throughout the town and in the morning there's just one more missing person."
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I do hope to continue my other kyman fic 'home' but some depressing shit happened in my life that kind of made me need to write a new kind of fic to cheer me up. So sorry, but I'm focusing on this one right now, just kind of need to leave everything resembling reality. So.. Vampires it is. :)_

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Three years ago the town of south park took a dramatic turn for the worse. It had always seemed like strange things are drawn here, in fact I remember growing up in this town and watching it be rebuilt nearly every month. But these days things were even more insane. Things happen so quickly one after the next, that there never seems to be time to figure out what happened, or even really recuperate from it.  
Most of the South Park residence moved out when things started getting really bad. Out of the kids that I knew in grade school, only Kenny, Clyde, Timmy, Kevin, the goth kids, Wendy and Bebe were still in town. Oh, and mr. Marsh still lives here, so I get to see Stan every once and a while.  
Everyone else either moved away, or mysteriously disappeared.  
I sighed as I looked out the window of the local bookstore. My mom helped me get a job here when shit started getting rough around here. She said it would be a good place for me to soak up some etiquette. Honestly I think she's scared I'll end up joining a gang and running away from home. That's where they say all these missing people are; some cultic gang recruiting members and keeping them from contacting their families. I don't know if I buy it, though. I don't think Butters or Tweak would be the kind of people a gang would try to recruit. Cartman, I can see, but even still, he left without a word to his mom and without even bragging about anything to me.  
After the second week of not seeing Cartman I went to his house. His mom seemed really upset, but she let me take a look around his room. She said she hadn't touched it since he left.  
Up until that point I had thought we had some insane serial killer in town, that all these missing people were dead, but as I looked around his room I noticed a few missing key items. The first was a picture of the four of us all dressed up for homecoming freshmen year; before shit got crazy. Cartman had kept it framed on his desk ever since, but now there was just an imprint in the dust. The second thing missing was Clyde Frog. In grade school he tried to get rid of it dramatically-even got him a nice casket-but one day in seventh grade we came over, and there it was, all re-stitched. I made fun of him for it, but honestly I mostly just thought it was cute. And the last missing item was a chain with a golden swastika hung on it. Of course if Cartman left he wouldn't leave that behind.  
As I gazed out the window, remembering all the little clues I've tried to piece together in the two years since he disappeared, droplets of rain began to beat against the glass.

"Kyle? Are you still here? Curfew starts in half an hour." mrs Donavan frowned. She was my boss, as well as my mom's personal spy. I never thought they were close, but with South Park going to hell, I guess everyone left kind of banded together.

"Yeah, I just wanted to finish shelving the mangas before I left." I shrug. She put her hands on her hips and 'tsk'ed at me.

"Run on home, you know how dangerous it can be after dark." the morbid joke among the younger residents is that South Park has vampires, but with all the loved ones gone missing, it's best kept to whispers.

I walked home with the setting sun against my back. No one had actually seen whatever dangers caused this curfew, and no bodies were ever found. But the screams at night echo throughout the town and in the morning there's just one more missing person.  
A chill ran down my spine as I felt someone watching me... No, it's just my imagination. I won't be the next to disappear. I quickened my pace, not daring to look behind me. It's probably just someone else rushing home before curfew.  
The sun seems to set at an impossibly quick rate, and my heart is pounding in my chest. Why was I getting so worked up? I had cut it close to curfew a few different times, and all I worried about then was what my mom would say.  
The sense of eyes on me was too strong. I look over my shoulder, freezing when I see the figure watching me. It was too dark to make out any features, but he was tall, broad, and held a cigarette in his left hand. He's still about twenty feet away, but I'm frozen. His head cocks to the side as he points his cigarette at me. Some small part of me is still lucid, telling me to run home, but I can't seem to move. I'm caught somewhere between terrified and mystified, and all I can do is stare. Suddenly there's a loud growl from behind me. I hear myself whimper, but still I'm frozen. The figure in front of me seems to turn to shadow or smoke. I must be dreaming. I watch the smoke pass me, and see the beast behind me, ready to strike. Then out of the smoke my stalker attacked. I blinked rain drops away from my eyes as I watched the two fight inhumanly before me. It was so dark now, I could barely tell if they were still there, or if they had been there at all. But then there was a screech, like a dying wolf. Was that what that was? Lightning flashes across the sky, lighting up the scene before me. Laying on the pavement was undoubtably a mauled werewolf, and standing over him, covered in blood from the lips down, was my stalker, my savior; a savage Eric Cartman.

"I knew you were alive." I told him, shouting over the pounding rain. I walked closer to him, but with every step I took forward, he took one back.

"Don't." he growled.

"Cartman, what happened to you?" I asked, unable to tear my eyes from his own glowing ones. I know his eyes have always been a sort of golden color, but they never use to catch the light so powerfully. We stared at each other, just standing in the night's rain. He didn't speak for a long time.

"Everything's changed, Kyle." he finally yells back.

"I know." I risked taking another step forward, this time he didn't move back, but just grinned with blood stained teeth.

"Do you? Do you know about these?" he asked, kicking the large corpse. I froze.

"There's rumors." I reply lamely.

"Would you like to learn the truth?" he asked, taking a step forward. I could barely breathe, my world lost in those glowing golden eyes.

"Would you share it with me?" I asked doubtfully. My mind had abandoned me the moment I first felt his eyes on me, and I felt in a deep dream state. Was any of this real? Was I really talking to Cartman after two years of wondering where he's been? He seems to float towards me, until I'm looking straight up into his gleaming eyes.

"Would you like me to?" I definitely must be dreaming. His hands move to my hips, and I find my hands moving to his chest. This wasn't normal. Cartman and I were rivals... Well... Frienemies... And sure, I had kind of a crush on him, but this shouldn't be happening.

"Am I dreaming?" I ask, running my fingers over the golden swastika around his neck. He chuckles gruffly as he leans down into my hair. I can't help but melt into his arms as he kisses my neck gently.

"No Kahl. I'm finally here." he pulls away, and I can only stare at him in confusion. Glowing, pulsing, entrancing eyes meet my gaze.

"Kyle I need you to do something for me. I need you to go home and pack anything that's sentimentally valuable. And also your computer and Xbox. I'll be waiting for you outside." he instructed. Again I felt as if in a dream, simply watching the events play out. I nodded, and he faded into black smoke.

I walked home in a haze. Unable to really even think. All I knew was that if that was real, than I had to pack. I had had to see him again. The house was quiet when I walked in. I tried not to disturb it. Slowly I creaked my way up the stairs and into my room. I emptied out my backpack, grabbing my Xbox and laptop first. Then my camera, which has a memory card that can only hold like two more pictures. Next I pull a shoebox out from under my bed. It has all the small trinkets and reminders of the adventures me and the guys use to go on when we were kids. It was the most important thing that I own. And last, the pictures I kept taped on my wall. Some were of family, most were of friends, and my favorite was one that Kenny took on homecoming of me an Cartman. We're not facing each other, in fact I think we're talking to different groups of people, but still, we're both dressed up, and both smiling. I slipped it in the shoebox before packing it all in the backpack, and sneaking back outside.  
He was waiting for me in the middle of the street. I suppose with curfew it doesn't really matter. When I got close enough, he took the backpack off my shoulders and set it on the ground, wraping his arms around me. I relaxed into him as he kissed my neck softly.

"Let's go home Kyle. And then I can show you my world." 


	2. Chapter 2

He grabbed my things and lead me by the hand into the darkness. We walked for a long time, but my state of mind kept me from realizing how long, or even caring about it.  
Finally he walks me through a foggy grave yard, leading me to an old abandoned looking church built of large, worn, grey bricks. The doors creak open as we get close to them, but in my surreal state, it seemed as natural as any thing else about the night. He placed his arm around my waist and locked the door behind us. I leaned into his touch while he threw the key around his neck, letting it clank against his swastika.

"This way, Kyle." He walks towards the cracked crucifix at the end of the church. His shadow follows behind him, contrasting the moonlight spilling in through the old stained glass.  
I hesitantly followed him. It was erie walking past the dust-caked rows of pews, but my eyes were locked on Cartman. I felt as though I could never be in pain again; surrounded by a surreal and blissful cloud.

"That's it, just down here." he opens a door on the ground, and walks down the stairs. He doesn't look back to see if I follow, but of course I do. He pulls out a zippo and ignites the three candles on each wall to light up the small room. It had a faded old rug covering most of the room, with a queen sized bed in the corner, framed in a Victorian oak. The only other piece of furniture was a thick table, with a tv monitor sitting atop it. It all had a warm, loving glow to it.

"Kyle pay attention." He tells me. My eyes snap directly to his glowing orbs. He smirks at me, before bringing his wrist to his mouth. He bites down, never breaking eye contact with me. Then he holds his arm out to me, displaying the four bloody puncture marks.

"Drink." he tells me, smiling warmly. I nod a little before taking his arm with shaking hands. I wait a minute before breaking eye contact to focus on tasting the blood seeping from his wounds. At first it was magnetic, like it was giving me life. But then suddenly everything seemed to hit me at once.  
I packed my bags and followed Cartman out of town after curfew to a moldy church, and was now DRINKING HIS BLOOD.  
I quickly stumbled back, spitting out as much of the blood as I could. He laughs.

"Welcome back Kyle." I just gape up at his smirking face.

"W-what the hell did you do Cartman?" I stutter out.

"I saved you from a werewolf." he grinned.

"Yeah, and what else? Where have you been? What the hell is going on?" I yell, searching around the dank cellar room. This was too much.

"Relax, Kyle. We only have a little while before my blood wears off." he crosses his arms, still smirking at me.

"Your blood? What the hell Cartman?!" I screech.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm a vampire, Kahl." I'm just gaping at him. Vampire. No. That was impossible. This could not be happening. I just left! My job, my home! Why the hell did I do that?! This can't be real... But suddenly... It was.

"Your blood. Why did you.." I managed to get out.

"From the second a vampire locks eyes on a human, they are under his spell. The only way for a human to see a vampire as he is, is if they drink the vamp's blood." he was watching me carefully as he explained.

"Under your spell?" I asked, crossing my arms. I briefly thought of running, but honestly I wasn't even sure where we had come from. Besides, Cartman still had the front door key around his neck. He walked towards me, and I backed up quickly, toppling onto the bed.

"Are you scared Kyle? Because before you even let me hold you." he growled out. I could barely breathe.

"What do you want from me?" I squeaked out. He shakes his head.

"If I wanted anything from you I could have taken it from you willingly." he smirks.

"So what am I doing here?" I stare at him wide eyed.

"You asked to be here. You wanted me to share my world with you Kahl." he tilts his head to the side. God, I was scared out of my fucking mind.

"I don't want to be a vampire." I squeaked. He just smiled softly.

"Shh, we have time." he continued staring at me for a minute longer before turning to the tv.

"I fixed up some solar panels a few months ago, so you can set up your Xbox." he shrugged. I couldn't help but smile.

"A vampire setting up solar panels? Sounds like a bad joke." I chuckled weakly. He smiles at me.

"It does take a lot longer when you can't actually adjust it during the day." he laughs.

"So... Will you, like, burst into flames?" I asked hesitantly. He chuckles gruffly.

"No. But it's hot and makes it too bright to see." he shrugs.

"Huh. So, what else?" I ask, even though I was still trying to wrap my mind around everything.

"Well. Garlic smells ten times as strong, but I still love garlic breadsticks." he grins.

"What, dominoes delivers out here?" I teased, though still on edge.

"Nah, but i got a guy." he smirks back.

"A guy for pizza?"

"I have a guy for everything Kahl." he rolls his eyes before taking a cracked old pocket watch out.

"Is that one of your old vampire props?" I teased again, unable to stop myself from trying to take comfort in our old banter. He smiles, but is still watching the clock.

"We don't have much time before my blood wears off. Think things over, I'll be upstairs if you need me." he tells me, seemingly apologetic. I just frown as I watch him climb up the stairs.

"Your just going to leave me here?"

"I'm right upstairs, Kyle. I just need you to think through everything with a clear mind." he told me before closing the cellar door behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

I sit on the edge of the mattress still stunned. What the hell is going on? No, no, I need to get home! My moms probably freaking out! And i need to get back to work! And school! graduation's less than a month away! I began nearly hyperventilating as it all clicked inside me; I left South Park. I left everything I know, and was now locked in a vampire's cellar. CARTMAN the vampire's cellar. Suddenly a thought hit me and I tore through my backpack. Please tell me I brought my cellphone! I ended up scattering my things all over the room before giving up. No phone. I sighed, settling with flipping through the pictures on my camera. I didn't use it much, so it probably held pictures from up to four years ago when I first got it. The most recent picture glowed to life in my hands. It was taken last month when Stan was in town. His dad took me, Stan and Kenny to casabonita. I frowned at the expressions on our faces. Stan was trying too hard, and me and Kenny were just distant. It was hard staying close when we only saw each other every other month. Besides, he should have known me and Kenny were still sore about Cartman. He went missing in sophomore year, about two or three month after I confessed to Stan about my ever-growing crush. Neither Kenny or I ever really got over it.

But now here I was. I found him, and he wanted to share his world with me; his vampire world. But this wasn't some dumb teen movie, and that thing up there wanted to kill my humanity. Oh my god, I could feel a panic attack coming on strongly. I tossed my camera to the side and ran up the stairs, throwing the door open above me. It landed with a bang, and I immediately began bolting to the outer doors. About half way down the aisle I stopped. Why was I running? Cartman saved me, he didn't want to hurt me. He wanted me to see him; to really see him as he is. My panic had completely faded, and I was left just feeling tired, and dreamy. Slowly I turned around, and walked back to my cellar door. I left it open as I nearly crawled down the stairs. I gathered my scattered belongings before setting them up. I could worry later about going home to south park, but for now, I was staying here. I taped up my pictures, and placed my laptop and Xbox on the table before sliding the shoebox under the bed.

"You ok?" I hear Cartman ask from the doorway. I look up, seeing him sit on the top step.

"I am now." I replied, grinning up at his warm golden eyes.

"Yeah. I thought you would. Why don't you try to get some rest, we'll talk more in the morning." he smiles sadly.

"Sounds good." I grin back. He sighs before standing, and turning away.

"Cartman!" I yell back. He looks thoroughly stunned as he turns back to look at me.

"Good night." I smile at him. He stares quizzically at me for a minute before grinning back.

"Good night Kahl."

As soon as I realized where I was after waking up, I nearly started hyperventilating again. It wasn't a dream. I mean, most of it felt like there was no way it could be real, like maybe I was still in the dream, but the moment after drinking his blood... No, this was real. I was about to run out last night, I was so scared; why did I stop? It felt so dreamy... Oh my god. I was under his spell again. The blood wore off and I stopped thinking rationally! My god, I need to get out of here! I rushed upstairs, thankful to see the sunlight streaming in through the cracked stained glass windows. In the day light I really got the full sight of how fucked up this place was. Everything was covered in at least an inch of dust, and nothing was fully intact. Rows of pews ran down my path, but not one looked sturdy enough to hold a person. The windows were old fashioned thick glass, every one cracked, but only one or two seemed to be broken all the way through. There was grafitti covering the walls and ceiling, mostly covered in spider webs. Hesitantly I turned to look at the large crusifix behind me. It was an old wooden one that looked like it was painted at one point, but now it had almost entirely peeled off. It was battered and chipped, the wood splintering off in several places. This place was a goddamn dump. I shook my head in disbelief. Last night it had looked so eerily beautiful; the perfect stage. My eyes finally settled on the heavy lock on the door. Was I a prisoner? Would he let me leave, or just enchant me forever?

"Morning Kahl. I made coffee." He tells me sweetly. I spin around, grinning at the dark shades over his eyes.

"Just what I need." I smile more warmly at him. He bites into his wrist again, letting the blood flow into my cup before handing it to me. I smile as I take it from him. It takes about four or five sips before reality comes back. I spit out the sip of coffee, crinkling my nose at the metallic flavor still lingering.

"Good morning." he smiles warmly. He was having too much fun with this. I set the mug on pew next to me.

"Is this always going to happen when you get near me?" I ask, wiping my mouth on my sleeve.

"Yep. When vampires' consciences started getting the better of us, we nearly went extinct. But, we evolved. Whenever we focus on a human, they begin to act more like cattle. They say it's pheromones, but I've heard of vampires that can do it from across contanants." he grins.

"So, you have like, an underground society?" I ask hesitantly.

"Well, yeah. But that's only because of the war. Otherwise, well you know how it is, you run out to eat, an there's someone with the same idea, you have a laugh, trade tales.." he trails off.

"Because of the _war_? What war?" I gape. He laughs.

"Don't worry about it, we're far into the vampire territory, it's just South Park that's dangerous." he shrugs.

"Cartman! What. War?" I gritted out. I was shocked to see a flash of fear cross his face.

"It's the end of the world, Kyle. Every side is recruiting soldiers, and taking territory." his face was cold and distant, but when he looked back at me he softened. "We're safe here." he tells me softly.

"End of the world? What sides!?" I sputter out, feeling my heart race again. He's still for a moment before answering.

"Kyle, you really should calm down."

"Calm down? you just fucking told me its the end of the fucking world!" I yell back.

"Yeah, but you just take it so seriously!" He laughs. I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion.

"I take the _apocalypse_ too seriously?!" I squeaked out, getting pissed.

"Yes Kyle. Besides, I don't want to get ahead myself, we have a lot to talk about. And you start feeling all blissful, you take a good swig of that coffee, yeah?" he asks.

"Yeah, fine." I scoff.

"Good. Then let's start with werewolves. They transform at will, but they can never look fully human. They have three states: humanoid, halfbreed, and wolf." he explains.

"So which one attacked me last night?" I asked quietly.

"Halfbreed. A werewolf's most vicious form. Their wolf form is all about stealth, and the humanoid.. Well, I don't know, I guess just to throw empty threats at vampires." he shrugs.

"Right. So you're at war with werewolves over who gets South Park?" I ask, honestly trying to wrap my head around it.

"Well... Sure, yeah. That's good enough for now. We have allies, and so do they, but for now, yeah." he sighed.

"So why tell me all of this? Why bring me here? You want me for your vampire army?" I ask, sure that my voice was drenched in fear.

"You don't want to be here? Fine! You don't want to be a vampire, then fine! You want to go get slaughtered with everyone else who doesn't choose a side! Fine!" he huffs, stalking off.

"Cartman!" I yell after him. He sighs, turning towards me.

"I just want to know why." I explain quietly. He stares at me for a long minute.

"Let me know if you find out." he replies back, nearly growling. Ok, I was getting sick of this. I walk up to him pulling my hair away from my neck.

"Is this it? Is this why I'm here? I either join the army or I feed them?" I ask, watching his shallow breaths as he focuses on my exposed neck. In half a second his arm's around my waist, and his nose is nuzzling against my skin.

"Not them. Me. Join me." he nearly whines in my ear. My legs get weak and I lean into him. He lightly drags his teeth against my skin, but doesn't puncture.

"You need to drink your coffee before you walk into the lion's mouth, little mouse." he laughs as he pulls away. I smile, running my thumb over his cheek.

"I didn't know vampire's could blush." I examined the pink flush that lay across the white skin under his sunglasses. He bites his pointer finger, letting a steam of blood drip to the floor.

"Suck." I graciously accepted, running my tongue over the wound. He moaned. After another minute of sucking off his finger I jumped back, scattering away from him. Goddamn it.

"This wouldn't happen if you were a vampire." he says quietly. He's looking away from me with a blush.

"But would I still feel my heart race?" I asked, matching his volume. He looks at me, looking a little stunned.

"No. But you can feel the heart beat of the people around you."

"So if I was a vampire you couldn't feel my heartbeat?" I ask hesitantly. He stares at me for a long time, a look of shock or confusion on his face.

"No. If it was just you and me, it would be quiet. Our blood moves through our veins, but it does it on its own accord." he explains. I shutter.

"That's a little creepy, dude." I mutter. He laughs.

"A lot of it is. You should see what happens when a werewolf looses it's head before it dies." he shutters a little with me.

"What happens?" I can't help but ask.

"It stays alive, but it's just this twitching, snarling goo bag until it gets placed back on the body. But never take one, because a living severed werewolf head can call werewolves to it from over twenty miles." he explains.

"That's really interesting, but I can't help but wonder how you know all this. Did they send you to vampire boot camp, or something?"

"Something like that." his eyes darken. "Becoming a vampire is torture. It feels like dying and being reborn every second of every day for months. You can't walk. You can't see. And you can't fight. Makers use this time to pass on the most important information about this life." he looks dark, as though still feeling the pain of his own transformation.

"So... Who made you?" I hadn't thought about it until just now, but I probably know a lot of the so called soldiers of this war.

"That's a story for another day." he sighs loudly.

"Well at least tell me who else is a vampire. I mean, people have been disappearing for years! Is Butters here?" I ask curiously. Cartman scoffs.

"Yes, Butters is a vampire. But he's the king's pet, so you can't talk to him." he shrugs.

"The king? Huh. Surprised you work under someone." I smirked. Cartman was never good with following orders.

"I don't work for him. But he's old, real old. He has tricks that I can't believe, and I've picked up some awesome ones that vamps eight times my age can't master." he grinned.

"Huh. So the whole immortal thing is real?" I ask.

"Yes and no. We do age, but with enough blood we can revert back." he says awkwardly.

"Yeah, you don't look sixteen." I muttered.

"But if I drank a bus of kids, I could." he shrugs.

"Again, creepy. So how much blood do you drink?" I asked hesitantly. He shrugged.

"I'll eat someone maybe once a month, but honestly I prefer hunting animals; they put up more of a fight." Cartman grinned.

"Can you survive on just animals?" I didn't want to annoy him, and I didn't know why he would answer all these questions, but I couldn't stop my curiosity.

"Yes, but not well. If you go over a few months without human blood, your powers will fade, and you'll be weaker than you were as a human. Not to mention the rapid aging."

"So why take over southpark? Don't you need humans?" I wasn't going to let anyone turn me into something else, but that didn't mean I couldn't try to find out all I could.

"You know what the number one killer of vampires is?" he asks with a laugh.

"Buffy?" I ask. He laughs harder.

"Homicide. Vampire-on-vampire violence." he shrugged.

"So?"

"So the second killer of vampires is suicide, and the third is werewolves."

"I still don't get your point."

"The number one killer of werewolves is humans, then vampires, then traffic." he smirked.

"So werewolves are getting rid of humanity?"

"Right. Three years ago the king ordered every able vampire to keep at least two human slaves just incase the werewolves manage to deplete our food supply."

"Oh god, don't tell me that's what I am."

"Of course not, this was years ago. I had to get my slaves the first day I could hunt." he seems to roll his eyes; it was hard to tell behind the sun glasses.

"So... You have two slaves? Here?" I asked hesitantly. He shook his head.

"They're with the rest of the slaves from my coven." he shrugs.

"How many other vampires in your coven? Do I know any them?" I thought of all the missing faces in South Park, all the grieving families.

"Well there's Craig, but I think I'm going to kill him. You'll understand if you ever meet him." he frowned.

"Ok? But that's it? What about all the missing people in South Park? What about Tweak?" I asked nervously. I was surprised to see him flinch.

"First of all, we don't talk about Tweak. He's a freak of nature and he's the enemy. Secondly, Kyle, most vampires I know aren't as badass as I am, and therefore can't hunt animals. So they they eat a lot more people." he shrugs.

"So most all of the people disappearing are dead." I replied distractedly.

"Or soon will be. If they've been turned, they have a side. And at the end of the war only the fittest will be left. Humans are defenseless and weak. They die first. Then vampires will eat animals, and eventually be too weak themselves. And once we die out, all our allies will die off one by one, until only their side remains. A world of werewolves, demons, Necromancers, etcetera. And they don't turn like vampire's do. But that's for another time." he explains, looking a little on edge.

"No, tell me." I insisted. He looks up at me from behind his dark shades.

"When you turn into a werewolf it strips your humanity away, leaving only the beast. They're putrid animals, with barely enough intellect left to form sentences. But it only takes one cycle of the moon to make a new werewolf, it takes half a year to make a vamp." he looks stressed. I sip at my gross coffee as the impulse to rub his neck came to me.

"What about the others? Demons? Necromancers?" I ask, cradling the cup in my hands.

"You can't turn into a demon, but they do use human bodies as vessels. They basically drink your blood and eat your soul, then inject themselves into the corpse." he turns away from me, walking over to take a seat on the steps.

"Necromancers are born into it. They look and act completely human, but their bloodline evolved to take another form as well." he looks deep into me.

"So what else is real?" I ask as I sit next to him.

"God, what isn't? Let's see, fairies are real, so are trolls and midgets, uh, theres satyrs, and sucubuses and sucubi, elves, and creatures that call themselves dragons, but theyre, like, closeted lizard people." he shrugs.

"Well I know about succubuses and elves, we met those in grade school." I frowned, trying to ignore the obviously misplaced one in the list.

"True, but that was in a time of peace. Succubuses are a whole different thing come wartime. The enemy that can disguise itself as food is a dangerous one." he explained. God he looked stressed out.

"So, you're a soldier?" I asked, taking another sip of bloody coffee just to be sure.

"I'm a general." Cartman smirked at me.

"Huh. They made a two-year-old a general?" I smirked back.

"Hey! I happen to kick ass at what I do, so much so that I command soldiers that are hundreds of years old!" he shot back defensively.

"Alright, whatever. I still want to stay human." I tell him. He scoffs, looking off to the side.

"Like I said. We have time." he replies quietly.

"And that means what exactly?" I ask nervously, again wondering if I would be allowed to leave.

"My maker didn't look a day over 25, but he was in his 90s when he was turned." Cartman smiled, still not looking at me.

"So, you're going to keep me here until I'm 90?" I ask hesitantly.

"No. You can go if you want." he huffs.

"So why lock the door? Why bring me here at all?" honestly, the whole thing still didn't make any sense. I mean, if I found out that all this was real by vampire Cartman taking me as his slave, I'd understand, but this was weird.

"I needed you to stay long enough to understand what's really going on in the world. And it would be a hell of a lot easier for me if you stayed." he grits out, blushing lightly.

"Why?" I ask when it becomes clear that he's done explaining.

"Because it sucks working when I'm busy making sure you made it in before curfew, and that no battles happen near your house." he grits out angrily.

"so what, you're going to protect me until I decide be a vampire?" I ask doubtingly.

"You could say that." he shrugs.

"Why? Doesn't the great general Cartman have better things to do?"

"Of course I do. That's why I want you to stay in vampire territory, where I can protect you without having to keep an eye on you." he explains, glaring at me.

"But why protect me?" I asked nervously.

"I'm planning on being alive for a very long time, Kahl. If I decide to kill you I will. But no goddamn war is going to take that decision from me." he growls out.

"You're protecting me so you can kill me at a more convenient time?" I can't help but laugh.

"If you stay human. If you become a vampire then well be on the same side." he explains, shrugging.

"But why not make me your slave? I'd think that would be your first instinct when you even hear about having slaves." I sipped at my coffee, trying not to talk myself into too much trouble.

"Why? Would you like me to keep you under my spell? Keep you drugged, and happy, no matter what I decide to do with you?" he growls out with a smirk.

"No! I-I just want to know why!" I sputtered out, shaking a little. He shakes his head

"What fun would you be if I was all you wanted?" he asks staring through me from behind dark shades.


	4. Chapter 4

I gaped at him for a minute, trying to think of some response. Before I do however, he stands up, looking alert and signaling for me to wait. I stare up at him in confusion. He's frozen for a minute before turning back to me with a sigh.

"My coven needs me. At least stay here until I get back, I don't want you getting lost." he scoffs, crossing his arms.

"How long are you going to be?" I ask a little nervously.

"I'll be back by the time the sun sets, just stay here. There's a mini fridge in the podium, it's stocked. I'm locking the door behind me, if you hear anyone just wait in the cellar. If its me, I'll come get you, but otherwise I want you to stay out of sight. The bed's warded, so if worst comes to worst, hide under it, even if they know you're there they won't be able to get to you, and as long as you're under it, they can't see you directly without touching the bed, so they can't charm you out." he explains hurriedly.

"So the safest way to hide from a vampire is under a bed?" I ask doubtingly. He laughs.

"Just this bed. Well, anything that has the proper spell work on it and that hides you." he shrugs.

"Ok. I'll wait here. But Im going home as soon as you get back." I tell him. He smiles warmly down at me.

"Ok. I'll be home soon." he smirks. I just roll my eyes. I climbed back down into the cellar as I heard the large outer doors whoosh shut.  
For the first while I played on my Xbox, but I was so jumpy, I eventually just shut it off. I paced around a bit, before flopping back onto the bed with a sigh. What the hell did he expect me to do here alone all day? I laid there for a while before deciding to see what was in the fridge. There was bread and cheese, and I was surprised to see a variety of deli meats, as though he wasn't quite sure what was kosher. I smiled at the mental image of vampire Cartman searching through the deli aisle. The other surprising thing was the orange crush; my favorite, but Cartman had never been a fan. He seemed to have really tried to make me comfortable here. I sighed as I threw a sandwich together. There had to be more of an ulterior motive here. Cartman seemed almost caring. I scoffed as I made my way back down to the cellar. Cartman and caring should not be in the same sentence.  
I decided to begin typing out all I had learned from Cartman. I still felt in shock over the death of my perceived reality, but I won't let that keep me from keeping track of possibly life saving information.

Ok, so far, he's told me a great deal about werewolves, the vampires greatest enemy, and a bit about their allies. So far it sounds like its vampire's versus werewolves, demons, and necromancers. So... Does that make vampire's the good guys? Oh shit. I got sucked into a twilight book, didn't I?  
Suddenly I heard the front doors open with a loud bang. I peek up through my cellar doors to see a ghostly woman looking around, the door smashed to pieces behind her. I duck back down, heart pounding.

"Come out come out where ever you are!" she sang to me. I dove under the bed, hoping to god cartman warded it against whatever the hell she is.  
"Come now darling, I'm here to save you from the vampires clutches." I held my breath as I see her feet glide down the stairs. She giggles a little, and it echoes back in an erie, unnatural tone.  
"There's no need to hide little one. I'm here to take you home." I see her feet floating right in front of the bed. There's a long moment of silence before the room starts rattling.  
"I'm not playing your childish games, human. Come with me or I'll level the church on top of you." she growls out. I try to stifle a whimper as I feel the earth convulse around me.  
"Do you even know what these vampires intend to do with you?" she inquires. I remain silent.  
"You know they have hundreds of human slaves in every coven around the world yes?" she pauses.  
"Ah, and I see you know about the war." she hums. I silently wish I had taken the time to shut down my computer.  
"Then let me tell you what the vampires never will." the room goes still.

"The only reason they fight us is so that they can be the only ones to rule their so called allies. Vampires are the true monsters." she scoffs before continuing.  
"They live as a mortals yet are genetically programmed to subconsciously command blood magic. They have this gift, but they will never be grateful. No, like adolescents they will never appreciate their kin, or the gifts we gave them. They will only re-inact their tantrums. This war is between magical species. Humans mearly live across the battle fields. If vampires lose, then my kind will rein over the spirit world. Man kind will eventually recuperate. But if they win this war, it will mean slavery for all of humanity." she laughs.  
"Come with me child. And I will give you a chance to save your kind from that life." she remains quiet as I think over her words.

"Does everyone get to choose their side with such informed consent?" I ask quietly. She chuckles again.

"Not everyone is as important as you, child. You must be very special for the king of vampires to let his best general waste time protecting you. And now the queen of the Shinda tenshi sits here and talks to you as though your race were equal to my own? When you choose a side, that side will win. Of this I am now certain." at this I was even more stunned.

"I have way too many questions." I breathed out.

"I don't have the time child. But I will arrange for one of my daughters to wait for you at the warehouse on your way back to town. There you may ask all the questions you want." I watch as her feet glide away.

"Wait, why me?" I squeaked out, but she was already gone. I stayed under the bed for a long time, trying to figure it all out. Could there be something important about me? The notion seemed ridiculous. Even compared to the average human I was nothing special, so what about me drew the attention of... What did she call herself? The queen of something. Ok. This NEEDS to start making sense.


End file.
